Rebel Without a Cause by Robert M. Lindner

Author:Robert M. Lindner [Lindner, Robert M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-59051-720-8
Publisher: Other Press
Published: 2014-07-29T04:00:00+00:00

THE TWENTY-FIFTH HOUR

When I was about eleven, maybe twelve, Riggs and myself were in the clubhouse together and we were masturbating ourselves, not each other. There wasn’t any discharge. I don’t know if this was the first time or not. I guess it was to find out who could discharge first. We were talking on the street about masturbating and we went into the clubhouse to do it. I don’t think either one of us finished. I have a hard time thinking about how it was when I was younger. I can remember that though. Then we went down by the river that day after we left the clubhouse. It was in the afternoon and we swam until around five o’clock, then went home for supper.

I have another cousin, Benny, who just got married not so long ago. I remember he stole twelve dollars once off his brother. We went to the show together and I remember when we were coming out of the show he dropped a big knife he had; dropped it on the floor and the manager or someone took it away from him. That day before we went into the show we bought a big bag of cakes and cookies and we ate all through the show. I was about nine then.

I am trying to think back further than that. I think my cousin Benny and me laid the same girl once. I’m trying to go back a little further than that.

About my masturbating I don’t remember much other than the incident in the clubhouse. Well, I left H—— Street School and went to St. A—— School. When I was in about seventh grade there was one girl used to sit in back of me who would always pull her dress way up over her knees. I was looking at her and all the fellows sitting around by me. We all had hand mirrors and held it in our palms so we could look back there. This girl knew it, and one time she gave me an emotion. She held her hand as if she was holding a penis and she was moving it back and forth about an inch or so. She asked me to come to her house on M—— Street to see her, but I was afraid to go. I was afraid of the gang on that street.

My favorite occupation was playing truant then. I’d go swimming or just lay around and do nothing. Sometimes I’d go to the show.

I was about nine or less and there was a young girl, one of two sisters. Back of my father’s garage there was a cab body with a seat in it and we were sitting on it. I started playing with her knee and then putting my hand under her dress and playing with her genitals. She kept pushing my hand away and saying, “Stop it!” After about five or ten minutes I had intercourse with her. First she consented to play with my penis and, I don’t know, it gave me such a tickling sensation.

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